Too much info? Parents worry about sharing their money woes with their kids

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As millions of Americans face challenging economic times, many have had to change their family spending habits, making hard choices about what to buy and what to do without. 

But how do children play into the mix in terms of what parents should say or not say?  

Should parents share their money troubles with the kids? 

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And if they do — how much is too much?

Experts weighed in on what children need to know or should know about personal finance issues and how age factors into the decision of parents to discuss it.

Here’s a deeper dive.

How should age factor into a discussion of money woes?

Children under age six don’t have the developmental understanding of complex topics, especially issues like finances, said Alison Honig, LCSW, a clinical psychotherapist and founder of Therapy Suite in New York.

“They are seeing the world in one dimension and trying to talk to them about or reason with them as to why they can’t have that toy, for example, won’t make sense to them, will only upset them and most likely confuse them,” said Honig.

When approaching children in elementary school or middle school, parents can take a more structured approach. 

“Adolescents are pretty sharp,” said James R. Bailey, PhD, a professor of leadership development at the George Washington University School of Business in Washington, D.C.

“They know when their house is in disrepair, if their clothes are out of fashion, and that boxed mac-n-cheese shouldn’t be a staple.”

“As long as the children are properly supported, this becomes a cautionary tale that will serve them through life.” 

To better prepare children for possible bumps in the money road, he recommends that parents teach their children about financial literacy and money management.

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“After a talk about earning and saving money, a conversation about the parents’ current finances — gently and diplomatically put — is healthy,” Dr. Bailey added. 

“As long as the children are properly supported, this becomes a cautionary tale that will serve them through life.” 

Couple personal finance

How do you share money realities with high school-aged kids?

Then comes high school with iPhones, fashionable clothes, overpriced sneakers and more, said Bailey. 

“Now it becomes the work ethic. As adolescents, they were informed about the value of saving versus spending. Now it becomes real,” added Bailey. 

“This is a real opportunity to offer a learning lesson — you can’t get something for nothing. Have goals, plan and work to realize them.” 

“Telling children they need to budget and go without certain things is a personal choice and should be based on the family’s values and financial situation.”

Conversations with teens can get more real-world, said other experts as well. 

“For children in their teenage years, consider talking to them about getting a part-time job and the importance of saving money,” said Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a New York City neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. 

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“Ultimately, telling children they need to budget and go without certain things is a personal choice and should be based on the family’s values and financial situation.”

How can parents approach these tough matters?

When it comes to discussing money woes with your kids, it’s a balancing act, Jennifer Seitz, CFEI, director of education at Greenlight, who is based in Atlanta, told Fox News Digital.

“Sometimes the big picture is important to share if it will lead to noticeable changes in family finances, but you can be cautious with details to avoid oversharing or creating a sense of fear or worry,” Seitz said.

Child counts coins in glass jars labeled savings, toys and education.

“Realistic conversations about your family’s situation with just the right amount of information can help them understand what will impact them and provide an opportunity to ask questions about what’s next. She also noted that transparency also helps them learn more about money and problem-solving. 

Also, your approach to the conversation matters. 

“Focus on reassurance so they understand they have the essentials they need, like a roof over their head, food, etc. It’s important to remain as positive as you can and be solutions-oriented, even coming up with goals together,” Seitz said.

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“This will make them more comfortable asking questions and sharing their feelings about the situation.”

How can parents share money troubles without worrying kids?

Being open and honest with children about financial matters builds trust, transparency and a sense of shared responsibility within the family, Dr. Hafeez with Comprehend the Mind told Fox News Digital.  

“Emphasizing that the family is working together to address challenges and that their basic needs will be met helps reassure children without causing stress,” she said. 

“This approach allows for an honest and constructive dialogue about financial matters while maintaining a supportive and secure environment for the child’s emotional well-being.”

“The news could be easier to process if they have the context of why it’s happening.”

Also, it’s beneficial to prepare children for certain necessary changes — especially those that might be disappointing for them, said Seitz with Greenlight. 

For example, will the New Year just ahead, including their birthdays, look a little different? Will there be an impact on extracurricular activities, vacations or summer camp? 

wallet money

“The news could be easier to process if they have the context of why it’s happening,” Seitz said.

“It’s also helpful to reiterate what won’t change. Gratitude can help build contentment, even in challenging times.”

Yet overburdening children can still be a concern. 

“Sharing too much financial detail like salary, mortgage, debts, etc. can be overwhelming or cause stress for kids,” Seitz said. 

“Instead, focus on teaching them how they can prepare for financial well-being as adults with lessons they can learn today.”

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